My first time travelling alone…it was pretty cool

On Friday, March 14^th, 2014 at 1:30am, in Toronto, Ontario, I stepped on Cathay Pacific’s Boeing 777-300ER plane to start my first trip as a solo traveller to….Bali!!

Since I was going to an exotic destination that honestly sounds AWESOME, it was normal that I wanted to share the fabulous news! After talking to friends and co-workers I heard either of the following responses to travelling alone:

-         -  “Wow, you are travelling by yourself?! Aren’t you nervous I have never thought of doing that and kind of wish I did.” Or;

-          - “Wow, you are going to love travelling alone! It is such a great way to meet new people and learn more about who you are.”

Before I go tooting my horn about having the ‘balls’ to go on the other side of the world, not knowing anyone, on my own, I actually never thought about travelling alone.

Julian & Me (Dec 2011)

The idea was only put in my head after multiple discussions (okay maybe baby arguments) with my partner Julian as to why I should do it. He had already taken many trips on his own before even meeting me, so he had the leg up on the conversation. He would always tell me that as much as it is important that we travel together and experience new things as a couple, it is equally important travelling alone and learning more about who we are as individuals. We are in this relationship together, but we are also two equals coming together in this partnership, so we need to have our own experiences to make this a happy place for both of us. My rebuttal was always, "Well when I travel to these new and exciting places, I want to experience them with you so that we have something to share, because we are together."

Over the span of a year or so, we would have the same discussion, and he was always encouraging me to do something on my own. I never really understood his point since I had been in relationships since I was 18 years old and didn't know any better. I had always thought of doing things together. In addition, I never had the opportunity to start travelling until I was 25 since I did not have the time or money due to school.

Julian refueling during his 50 mile race.

It was not until the summer of 2013 that somebody else had opened my eyes and said that this idea was okay, and Julian is right. I was supporting Julian on the sidelines while he was running a 50 mile ultramarathon race in Ancaster, Ontario. If you have ever supported a love one during any race, you know there is loads of time to kill, and luckily Julian is gifted in running, so I only had to wait 7 hours that day.

I met a lady in her late 40’s from Philadelphia that was supporting her partner in the race. Through our chat, I found out that she was previously married, had multiple careers, moved around a lot, and was back in school doing a program related to the environment. She was very successful in her previous careers, well-travelled and most importantly, happy. We were chatting about things and I brought up the solo travelling conversation I kept on having with Julian since she had also done it many times. She said the exact same thing to me that Julian did, and said, he is a smart man, keep him.

I know you are all thinking, Julian told you all that already, why didn’t you listen? I think we can all agree that sometimes it is hard to hear things when it is coming from someone so close to you, especially when you have a complete opposite view on the situation.

So over the months, we had done a couple trips to New York City for my 30^th birthday and for the New York City Marathon, and to Kelowna, British Columbia for a friend’s wedding. It was not until around Christmas time I thought about actually finally cutting the umbilical cord and booking a vacation on my own. I had a lot of vacation carry over days I had to use before the end of March 2014 or I was going to lose them.

A few pics from New York City & British Columbia

At Beauty & Essex for dinner with
Julian, Lutfiya (sister) and
Josh (partner).

At The Top of the Rock

A visit to NYC is not a visit if
you don't see Times Square

With the bride & groom, Julie & Craig

I started looking for places to go but was always worried about the safety element of it. If you have watched Taken with Liam Neeson from 2008, you will know exactly know where my worries come from!

My first Google search was G Adventures as they have many group trips available. In June 2012, Julian and I did a 9 day trip which included 6 nights of hiking and camping through Ausangate Mountain in Peru. G Adventures took care of pretty much everything, we just had to trek our asses through +5 to as low as -10 degree Celsius weather. I was very happy with the overall experience (yet I would not recommend it to everyone as it was a mentally tough hike due to the altitude), and was thinking about doing either Mount Kilimanjaro or Mount Kinabalu as my solo trip.

But then I thought ‘F-it’, I don’t want to be working so hard on my first trip alone. Imagine not having a support system when you are in the middle of the mountains puking your face off, or nearly pooping your pants…just sayin….because this did happen to some people during the hike in Peru.

Then I thought about what I really wanted. I wanted to have a balance of culture, activity and relaxation, all while feeling safe in the process.

Then I Googled surf and yoga retreats.

I had come across it years before I started dating Julian and thought about how cool it would be. I never did it because one, I was in a relationship and the thought of solo trips were rarely discussed, and two, it was not cheap. For a place that met my standard when it came to location, food, and activities, the minimum cost of the retreats I was looking at was approximately $3,000 US, and this was not including the flight to actually get there!

There were only two locations that I wanted to go to, it was either Costa Rica, or Bali. The prices were going to be somewhat similar so it was really a toss-up between the two. So why Bali, well two things; one, “Eat, Pray, Love”, two, Bali sounds way cooler than Costa Rica.

After my research on Bali, I found that it was a safe place for female travellers and they were going to be finishing their wet season by the time I arrived so the prices were a little cheaper. I ended up at an all-women’s Yoga and Wellness retreat called Bali Goddess Retreats instead of a surf one due to the time of year, and I couldn’t have been more pleased with my choice.

It is now April 2014, and I am reflecting on my solo trip last month, and this is what I have come up with about travelling alone.  

1) It is not as scary as it sounds

There is WiFi almost anywhere you go, Hotels, restaurants, cafes, and the airport. If you feel lost, you can Google your question, or just ask a local. Depending on where you choose to go, I recommend that you find out if they speak a similar language to you. In Bali, most people spoke English, some better than others.

2) You get to do whatever you want to do

If you feel like going out, you can, if you want to stay in one night and go to bed at 8pm, you can do that too! You don’t have to answer to anyone.

3) It is so easy to meet people

I had the opportunity to meet people wherever I went. When people see you alone, they just want to talk to you because you are more approachable than with being in a group. Honestly, it is easy as that. I have talked to other people who have backpacked and they told me that meeting people in hostels is even easier…I may consider back packing on my next trip J

4) The best things happen when they are not planned

I did not plan a lot when I went to Bali especially since I don`t enjoy the task of planning trips. I knew I was going to spend my week at the retreat and have 3 days on my own. I listened to what other people wanted to do, and if it sounded interesting, I piped up and said, hey I would like to try that too. With that, I saw an amazing Osteopath and the only way I can describe him is that he was a ‘body whisperer’, tried a pole dancing class (not easy, lots of skin burn, and felt so awkward trying to be sexy, even though it was only women in the class), and saw a healer who read my tarot cards (that was an experience which defined why I made the trip to Bali).

The amazing women I met. Back L to R (Rebeca, Me, Candy,
Melissa), front L to R (Gwen, Antje)

5)      You get to learn about others and especially yourself

Staying at an all-women’s retreat was such an easy way to meet other women, but the cool thing about it was that they were all like-minded individuals, with different paths they have taken to get to where they are in their life. I got the opportunity to learn about each of their stories, their experiences, their ups, downs and what makes them who they are today. I was able to gain priceless advice from each of them that have allowed me to become more clear and shape my thoughts and views to becoming a better me.

As this was only my first trip alone, I know that I still have so much more to experience in this life. We easily come up any excuse as to why not travel by ourselves but I know it is possible especially since I met women that were single, in relationships either dating or married and even with children at home.

A more happier, balanced me :)

Travelling alone is an experience that you can only understand when you do it and honestly one of the smartest investments in you. Everyone’s experience is completely different, but at the end of the day, we come out a better version of ourselves. Happier, balanced, and more guided on what is important in life.

Shameen